First you must identify the problem – you know a lot of things and think a lot of things about that which you know. Too many thoughts, too many sparks racing across you’re vibrant, loud, exhausted and messy wires.
This inevitably leads to you pissing someone off.
Because. Just when. You want to. Shut. Up. Your mouth explodes into a cacophony of opinions and songs and speeches. And soundbites.
Secondly, you must pat yourself on the back. Give yourself a little supporting cheer because it’s quite difficult to get past step one. But you did it. Well done you.
Thirdly, overhaul your entire internal thought system. I’m talking big, structural changes – slow down the sparks, uncross the wires, squeeze the negativity, the anxieties, the worries and the pre-emption, out of that big grey sponge they decided to call a brain.
It’s a terribly inefficient service that wastes a colossal amount of energy on trying to repair things that can’t be repaired, will into reality things that aren’t possible to will…for now, at least.
Fourthly, after recognising the problem, showing yourself some love and enacting the most ambitious plan for cranial rejuvenation in 19 years, it’s time to just be yourself – whatever that entails.
I’m of course talking about the self that your family get driven round the bend by, but will always love.
The self that your friends fall out with and want to punch so bad but will turn that punch on any twat that spills your drink in a heartbeat.
The self that the world would be so much blander, less diverse, less happy, less creative, less beautiful, more divided, more boring and less well dressed without.
Be that self and fuck putting a lid on it.
Creative Non Fiction Writing at Reading 